someone i used to know

this is about someone i use to know.

loneliness was his alibi, his best friend. without it he wouldn't really know himself, but i guess, he didnt know himself anyway. he could run into himself on the sidewalk – "oh, i'm sorry–"; "watch where you're going." – and not know that he had just run into someone he once knew.

his veins were like frozen pipelines. all his warmth resides in his heart, but he always refused to let it out. he never let it circulate to his fingers/touch; nor did it ever spread to his lovers.

contrary to his own belief, he is was not broken. he had just never been fixed. he was born with a few flaws and a shattered surface. but what is more beautiful; a blank canvas or a cracked statue?

i like to think he had dreams at one point; maybe he had dreams of love, hope, and the future, but but now, those things have become nightmares of hate, despairation, and his past. sometimes he would say this was my fault, that it was all my fault; it was all my fault. what i didn't realize was that he was talking to himself. "oh, i'm sorry–"; "watch where you're going."

he saw himself as scattered dead tree branches across a highway. as the passing traffic crushed, snaped and fractured them to pieces. he saw others as fully grown trees stretching across blue skys.
but he was wrong. and he just wanted those branches to intertwine; he just wanted someone else to be cut down, too.

maybe we arnt all as well put together as we think. maybe we are like a portrait with the perfect blend of positive and negative space, but all the negativity was a part of him. maybe we are the water in the half-full glass, the air inside the glass was supposed to be him. maybe he was so damaged that he had to split at the ends. maybe he were just so fragile that they had to split in the end.

this is about someone i use to know.
no –
thats a lie.
i did not know him.

no more.

i still miss you...
but not like I did before.
the intense aching I felt, isn't there anymore.
i still hear your voice, replaying in my mind.
but it's gradually fading, and becoming a blur.

i still think about you...
and wonder how you are.
but my feelings have changed,
they're not like before,

you barely make my dreams anymore.

i still feel you sometimes...
maybe you're thinking of me?
or maybe it's just a memory.

i still love you...
now it's not as strong.
because i've let you go now,
so i can move on.


i never did quite get my head around poetry.